“Assume a virtue, if you have it not.”
-William Shakespeare
There are things we do not want to do, but obligation requires that we do them. I may not want to go to work. I may not want to attend a family function. I may not want to mow the grass, or get the oil changed, or pay the bills. Obligations are there, but we just can’t seem to get the will or motivation to do them.
Early on in my program, I learned a very useful tool: act as if. People also describe it as “fake it til you make it.” I have found “acting as if” very helpful. It is hard to admit, but I am lazy. I am self-centered. I want to do only what I want to do. I feel sorry for myself and kick and scream inside when there are tasks and obligations I must take on. But I do these tasks anyway today, regardless of what my head is telling me. That is the big difference. I pay the bills and I get the oil changed. And I don’t put either of them off until the next weekend.
Laziness, also called sloth, is a dangerous character defect. When I was drinking, I didn’t take care of many important obligations with my job, my family, and my health—and my life became extremely unmanageable. Today, with a hard look at the Sixth and Seventh steps, I can honestly say that most of the time I do not mind taking care of things. I know each time I do something I do not want to do that I am adding to the insurance policy of sobriety. I am working against the old me—and I am willing to do anything to keep from going back to that old life.
Today’s Prayer
God, relieve me of sloth in my life. Help me get up and get it done today. I want to have a more manageable and dignified life.