“People don’t want my money—they want their money.” -heard at a meeting
Greed hides under the more modest sounding “financial insecurity.” When it comes to making our direct amends in terms of money, some sober alcoholics refuse to take a look at this, and still fewer of us actually have the willingness to get started paying the money we do indeed owe.
The money we owe can seem very overwhelming. Today’s creditors are ruthless as they endlessly call our phones, leaving horrible messages, or, even worse, they call our families and reveal to them how financially irresponsible we have been with credit. Most of the alcoholics I know owe tens of thousands of dollars when they get sober, some even owing hundreds of thousands of dollars.
When I got sober, I wanted to make my amends, but, at the same time, I wanted to hoard my money. It was MINE. However, I knew that I couldn’t stay sober unless I really tried to pay it back. I had some success, and then I actually ran out of money trying to pay off creditors. My son and I stayed very broke for many years. The good news is that God had broken me of the character defect of greed. I started looking at money in a completely different way when I started living with just a little money. I knew for a fact that this little amount of money I was getting on the paycheck was not even my money—it was God’s money.
Today’s Prayer
God, I am terrified to really look at my financial situation. I am even more scared of making financial amends. Higher Power, put me with someone in the program who can help me with this—my sponsor or another trusted member. I don’t have to do this alone.