Grief is messy
Intensity in grief--a lesson from my sponsor
“Grief does not change you, it reveals you.”
-John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
One of my sponsees had the very difficult experience of losing both of her parents in her first year of sobriety. Every year at the anniversary of each parent’s death, she would be so sad that it was difficult for her to function. Her grief was consuming. Many years later, these anniversaries still arrive yearly on the calendar, but the intensity of these events has lessened.
Losing someone we love, whether through death, relapse, or just plain old loss of that friendship or relationship, causes great grief and sadness. Our emotions are even more intense because we are no longer medicating them with alcohol. What comes is a great wave of sadness that peaks and then recedes, only to peak again hours or days later.
Grief is messy, and it is isn’t on a timeline. One thing my sponsor taught me about my grief, however, is that it does eventually lose its intensity. I have found this to be true of the four greatest griefs I felt while sober: my son’s diagnosis; losing two spiritual advisers, one in each program, very suddenly to death; and then deciding to give up on the relationship with the alcoholic.
Today’s Prayer
God, sometimes I feel this grief so intensely. My sadness seems to overtake me. Please help me, God, to bear this pain. I trust you that it won’t last forever. Give me your peace and comfort.
This the is the March 5 reading from my daily book of readings for people in AA and Al-Anon, titled With Gratitude, A Journey in Recovery by Jamey M. It can be purchased on Amazon as a paperback for $17.00 or as a Kindle book for $15.00. The Kindle edition is free for those who have Kindle Unlimited. A great gift for those experiencing both sides of the disease of alcoholism. As always, I am grateful to YOU for supporting my reading each week.