Growth through the frost
Time to slow down and re-evalulate
“Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.”
-Robert Frost
I like to garden, but I live in a northern climate that is prone to frosty nights even in May. I have to wait and wait to plant my vegetables. Sometimes I accidentally leave the tiny pots outside and then don’t notice that the temperature has dipped below freezing. In a panic I swear at myself and bring the plants back in—one more time. I am very impatient as the days in May march on and I still don’t have my garden planted.
Sometimes I feel like God also adds a frost to our barely planted, barely sprouting recovery. As soon as we make some kind of progress, we have a setback. The frost requires us to slow down and re-evaluate some area of our lives that we hadn’t previously looked at. It requires a pause. It requires some attention.
Perhaps God’s intention in these moments is not to harm us but to enable us to grow. Once again I revisit my conception of God. Is my God loving or a terrorist? Does my Higher Power want the best for me or does he intend to stand in my way? All of this has to do with my very limited perspective. I always return to that same old God of my misunderstanding. But today I have the tools to check some of this old thinking against what I have learned in recovery.
Today’s Prayer
God, you are not a terrorist. You actually love me more than I know. Help me seek that conception of you today that I know is real and loving. You always want the best for me, Lord.
This post is the May 15 reading from my book, With Gratitude: A Journey in Recovery Daily Readings by Jamey M. As I am a long-time member of both Alcoholics Anonymous and the Al-Anon Family Groups, I write from the perspective of a dual member.