Justifiable anger
Wasn't my real problem that I really wanted to control?
“We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.”
-Bill W. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 90)
Anger has always topped my character defect list. I am not proud of this fact. I have lived as a perpetual fighter all of my life. And I have gotten myself into more trouble for these fights than was worth it. I had to get tired enough of the consequences of my anger to finally ask God to remove it.
My fights were never the physical types—they were the mental wars I waged against people, institutions, and principles. Sometimes my anger was justified, often it was not. But either way, there were always consequences.
Wasn’t my biggest problem that I really wanted to control? Control people, control outcomes. I have always possessed grandiose thinking that my way is the best. This pride has nearly killed me. I have lost jobs, relationships, and opportunities due to my anger and pride. Nobody wants to be around someone who is constantly upset and complaining.
Today when I do fight, it’s not for long. I usually surrender way before things become problematic. The surrender is usually unseen—it’s a mental surrender within me where I just throw up my hands and cry, “How important is it?”
Today’s Prayer
God, my anger is overwhelming and causing me serious consequences. God, please remove my anger at once. I will say this prayer every time my anger flares up.
This is the daily reading for June 2 from my book, With Gratitude: A Journey in Recovery.