“He who has injured thee was either stronger or weaker than thee. If weaker, spare him; if stronger, spare thyself.”
-William Shakespeare
I no longer fall into the trap of deciding how other people need to live. This business of control was nothing but self-centeredness masking itself as caring. If you weren’t okay then I wasn’t okay.
This revelation came to me while doing my step work, specifically Steps 3 and 4, with how I used to treat my students, seniors getting ready to graduate, when they would completely stop coming to school. Didn’t they want to graduate? Weren’t they concerned about their own futures? I would go crazy picking kids up in the morning and bringing them to school, driving them home at my lunch break because they had early release, and calling them on the phone to nag them when they didn’t show up. I was completely nuts—not to mention that I had no appropriate boundaries towards these minors! And all because of my own self-centered fear.
I have since learned that “Live and Let Live” is the perfect slogan to give people the dignity to live their own lives and make their own choices. This applies to all people I know, including family, colleagues, bosses, and friends in addition to alcoholics and addicts. I certainly do not have the power to control another human being, and I never did.
Today’s Prayer
God, please remind me in your not so subtle way that I am not in control—you are. I cannot change another person. Help me see my self-centered motives whenever I am tempted to control another today.