“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.”
-St. Francis de Sales
I want what I want and I want it now. This is the famous battle cry of every self-centered alcoholic. We cannot wait for God’s timing on anything. As my sponsor says, “I’ll take it from here, God!” Then, living completely on self-will and self-propulsion, we make a complete mess out of everything. In Al-Anon we call this forcing a solution.
Isn’t my basic problem trust? In whom do I trust—God or myself? If I can’t trust God’s perfect timing, I am more likely to do something stupid when I force the solution myself. I am still running the entire show.
Patience is such an important learned skill. It doesn’t magically appear one day in our lives, but is instead a muscle that must be exercised and strengthened. My own patience muscle was strengthened when I drove a car that was paid off but was having a lot of issues. I kept having to take it in to get fixed, several times during about a three-year period. I just didn’t have the money to buy another car. Then, one day, after I had paid off all of my debt, I knew it was time to buy a new car. I got a very nice used car that was almost like a dream car for me. I feel so grateful for this car today. Because I was patient and waited for God’s timing and didn’t force a solution and buy a car when I couldn’t afford it, I became truly free to enjoy the car I bought.
Today’s Prayer
God, what am I waiting for today? Can I trust you during this season of waiting?
The above reflection is the February 3 reading in my book of daily readings for people in AA and Al-Anon: With Gratitude: A Journey in Recovery by Jamey M. (available on Amazon).