Sloth and Unmanageability
April 8 With Gratitude
“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.”
-Jules Renard
Sloth is a more insidious character defect than most are willing to give it credit for. For alcoholics and those who have been affected by another’s drinking, this laziness can lead us back into the behaviors of our disease.
Sloth can lead us back into the unmanageability of Step 1 very quickly. A few unpaid bills, a few meetings missed, a few days called in sick to work doesn’t seem like a big deal to us while we are still living in our delusion, but our sponsors can point it right out. I once had a sponsee whom I noticed was calling in sick to work pretty frequently. I told her that she was no longer going to do that without running it by me. Our disease is so good at tricking us into thinking that we are “sick” when we are really just tired: tired of living a disciplined life.
My unmanageability did not end because I quit drinking. It actually was more glaring because I could live my life more normally in a drunken state. I had to have a sponsor’s help, especially in those early months. My sponsor guided me and spent time just sharing how I could start to live life. In my disease I was being driven, but now I had a chance to actually live.
Today’s Prayer
God, if today I am feeling lazy, please help me get up and do what needs to be done. I know that I have to do the footwork, Higher Power. You will be there for me, however, when I pick up my own mat and walk again.