Sometimes I can't get me off me

Why sponsorship still works

My greatest joy of this year is that I finally got a new Al-Anon sponsor. I have some insanity in my home that at times seems impossible to deal with. I called her just two days ago to discuss an incident with a fish. Yes, a fish. And a fish tank.

There is nothing too ridiculous for our sponsors, and yet, we sometimes judge our problems as too petty to reach out for the help we really need. It’s that pride and ego once again—that self-sufficiency. Or we feel that we have too much “time” in the program. Shouldn’t our God-consciousness direct us from here? Perhaps. And for many problems at work, in AA, and at home, my God-directed thinking absolutely does work.

But I still have blind spots. Sometimes I think in terms of the either-or, false choice fallacy type of thinking. One thing or the other. Black or white. My sponsor shows me a third way—something I never even considered. When I keep her in the loop, keep current with her, I have a much better chance of just being able to pick up the phone when the shit hits the fan and just let it out. I have set myself up for help by the constant and regular phone calls.

People not in a program of recovery also have a go-to person. Before AA, my mom was my go-to. However, I often overshared with her and in the process harmed her, which I am now much more aware of. But at the time, I knew I could count on that wonderful conversation of mutual sharing and understanding. The same is true with good friends. There are just those people we can be our absolute messiest selves with. Thank God.

But the difference in AA and Al-Anon is that my sponsor is not my friend. She is my guide. I am there not just to let it out, but to take direction. Suggestion. She gives me a way out. That is what I really need: a solution to my problem. A solution through redirection back to God and the Twelve Steps.

I am grateful for my sponsors. I have been with my AA sponsor for 17 years, since I was new. She celebrated a birthday this week and I want to wish her a very special and happy birthday. She took me through the steps that saved my life. She helps me with my ability to sponsor other women. My new Al-Anon sponsor just celebrated a birthday late

last month and is also a real inspiration to me of perseverance and really taking care of myself.

Our sponsors are amazing. Pick up the phone and call your sponsor this weekend. And then let the stress of life fall off. Exhale. It works.