The Value of Perseverance
Do not be discouraged
“Do not be discouraged.”
-Alcoholics Anonymous p. 60
I know a young woman, a former student of mine, who really wanted to take an advanced English class. She was a good student who normally achieved B’s in her honors’ level English courses. She was by no means a top student, but she tried very hard. When the recommendations came around for her senior year English class, her teacher would not recommend her to stay in the advanced class—even though this young woman had proven herself for three years in honors’ English.
In March, she sent him an email asking him to reconsider. He refused. As this young woman is very quiet and a bit timid, this action took a lot of guts. She was upset about his answer but quietly continued on in her class for the rest of the semester. She worked very hard but still could only achieve a mid “B” grade by the end of the semester. She made a decision to write to him once more. This time he said “yes”—he wouldn’t stop her from taking the course she wanted to.
This is what persistence looks like—never giving up in spite of the many roadblocks life gives us. It’s about having faith in ourselves and our own desires and dreams. And it is never easy. We often have to fight for what we really want. I sometimes think adults forget how difficult it is for young people to stand up for themselves. I admired this young woman for seeing through what she really wanted for herself. And now next year she will have a challenging class that will really prepare her for college.
Persistence is what makes us stay in our programs of recovery as well. Going to meetings, working with our sponsor and sponsees year after year can feel like a chore. And yet we appreciate the life our Higher Power has given us—so we continue on. I understand this about my own recovery. I have invested a great deal of myself into both AA and Al-Anon for 18 and 17 years respectively. I understand my disease and do not want to go back to drinking. I will protect my sobriety at any cost and any sacrifice.
When the bottom seemingly fell out this past year and I was left in unrelenting confusion and despair—my previous years of recovery saved me from that first drink. Because I felt really lost for quite a few months. It would have been easy to give up on myself and my recovery. My relationship with God felt challenged. I kept seeking God but kept feeling miserable. God sustained me during this time, because I did not drink. But I did feel insane. Confusion is very powerful. I was lost in alcoholism and didn’t even realize it, because the alcoholism was not mine.
Through some pretty intensive work with my Al-Anon sponsor and 7-10 meetings of both AA and Al-Anon per week for the past two months, the fog has lifted. Things are beginning to make sense to me. I became aware of what had been happening inside of me. And then I began to accept—and that acceptance was really hard. Living in the denial was much more comfortable. And it kept me stuck. Now I continue the third A: Action. I keep going to all of those meetings. I have 4 sponsees in the Steps, and three of them are in Al-Anon. I am useful to the people around me. I successfully finished a challenging school year and was able to celebrate with my graduating Seniors. And I have more friends now by showing up and not giving in to the despair. I am grateful that I persisted in my recovery. I had to trust the process and take my life out of my own hands.
Persistence. It’s a powerful tool in our recovery toolbox.