“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.”
-Clarence Darrow
A lot of time is spent in the inventory steps complaining about what a poor job our parents did with us. Usually either mom or dad is the villain in the family, and sometimes the cast of characters also includes step moms and step dads. We go over their incredible shortcomings in stark red resentment. Parents are definitely one of those causes and conditions we talk about when trying to get to the root of our alcoholism or the effects of someone else’s drinking.
We also have to spend time in inventory looking at the harms we did to our own children as moms and dads. We are guilty of many of the same shortcomings that we have assigned to our own parents. However, it is much easier to point the finger at them and not accept the full responsibility we ourselves have toward our sons and daughters.
We all suffer from a disease of perception. Once we can see that our parents, even the worst of them, probably did the best they had with the limited tools they were given, then we have a chance of really growing up to see our parents for who they really are, through our new adult eyes, rather than through the eyes of the small child we once were.
Today’s Prayer
God, I want to be a better parent. Please show me the way, Higher Power. I also want to forgive my own parents and accept them the way they are. I trust that you will show me the way.